fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
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It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
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I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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