she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.