fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The cops high fived after they tackled you