Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.