But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.