Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.