Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize