Small penises have feelings too.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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