I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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