I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
