I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
