so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
