Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so that wasnt chicken after all
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
