The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just want nice things and good sex
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
