chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
