The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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