For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
