he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We were destined to go to rehab together
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
