if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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