he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
