idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
