Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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