I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize