I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
