Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
