You just made me feel so damn special
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
