I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Fuck appropriateness.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
