I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
