Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
