Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
