all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
