You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
