Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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