i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
