im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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