Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
