White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
