FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
