Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
