Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
