Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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