Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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