i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
