i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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