Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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