it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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