How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
