I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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