I got chris browned last night
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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