my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
