i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
