I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
