return my video game
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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