i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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