why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
