dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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