It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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