I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize