and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Can you bring me the toilet please
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
