So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.