Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
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she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
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drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats