fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP