yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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