god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
