I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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