I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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