now i know why i became what i already was.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
