i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
