yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
