What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize