Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
