You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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