I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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