Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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