Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
