Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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