There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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