she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
one might say we're banned from that church
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
