is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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