Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
