Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
